Can You Believe?

August 16, 2025

One of the articles that I read this week discussed the latest trend in how to receive an invitation to become a sorority member at college.

Normally, the sorority will hold mixers, or an open house, and young women will visit the various sorority facilities, meet the members, and hopefully create a positive image that will result in receiving an invitation to join the sorority.

This is a similar process to receiving an invitation to join a fraternity. At least it was, some 60+ years ago, when I joined the Pi Kappa Alpha Fraternity.

That has now changed. The article indicated that there are now services that one can retain that will advise one as to how to dress, how to act, and what the best solution is to obtain an invitation to join a preferred sorority, all for the cost of $6,000. Wow! College has certainly changed, or have the parents?

First there was the Concierge Service that one could sign up for to be a “Mother” to your son or daughter at college. Next there were organizations that would do over your dorm room, some costing $30,000.

What has happened to our sense of imparting responsibility to our children?

Concierge Services are said to have started in 2018 at New Mexico State by Sodero’s food services and facility management organization. Initially it was to assist foreign students transitioning to American Colleges and Universities. Sodero indicated that “ college is such a unique experience for students and their families, but it can also be a time of anxiety and trepidation.”

Since then, these services have spread to many of our colleges and universities.

A Harvard study found that the level of stress among college students is abnormally high, and is very often associated with mental health issues. Supposedly, 3 of 4 students reports having a stressful event annually. 20% of the students surveyed, reportedly thought about suicide, with 9% reported having attempted suicide and 20% attempted to injure themselves.

Some of the concierge organizations have various levels of services, and the cost is based upon the level of service. As an example, one organization’s top plan provides apartment hunting, move-in and move-out services, college selection assistance, including filling out applications, college tours, and tutoring in writing. It also includes personal services such as laundry services, dinner reservations, food delivery, gym memberships, grocery shopping, transportation services, car services, and medical references. They also provide bill payment, banking, party planning, and crisis/emergency resolutions.

Is it no wonder that many of our college graduates have difficulty transferring to the "real world?”

The cost of these services varies depending upon what is provided. However, it has been reported that the cost can be over $10,000. annually.

Recently, dorm room “do overs” are one of the latest services offered. These services can include design, furniture selection, purchase and installation, and the purchase of décor accessories. It has been reported that a complete package can cost more than $30,000.

What has happened to create this? Many believe that technology, especially the digital phone, and the internet is responsible. Our children end up on their phones, and/or their computers 6 to 8 hours a day. They don’t have the social skills that previous generations had, because they are not interacting personally with others. They have been insulated from the “real world.” Parents are too busy, and in many families, both parents work, thus creating “latchkey” children.

As my wife reminded me, our children grew up in a different age. We had family dinners each night, and they stayed outside until it was dark playing, and they interacted with others daily. They solved their own problems.

Our children are in their late 50’s and early 60’s. Technology wasn’t a major issue in their younger years. Their children were the first to actually see the changes that technology created. The new generation hasn’t had that same experience and their parent’s child rearing is completely different.

The advent of “helicopter parents!”

It is time to recognize what has been happening. Parents cannot hold the hands of today’s children forever, if they are to become responsible adults. These young people need to be held responsible for their actions. If not, how will they ever mature, and become the leaders of tomorrow?

Jess Sweely

Madison, Va.